Funerals taken with care and heart by Felicity Murray
"Sorrow is so easy to express and yet so hard to tell" - Joni Mitchell
No one likes funerals.
No one really likes thinking about death.
No one wants to think about losing loved family or friends.
But the reality of being born into this world is, that one day we are going to have to leave it, as are those who are special and dear to us. The greater our love for that person, the greater the feeling of loss.
So...how does a funeral help deal with the emotions brought on by a death?
The funeral is moment when:
* We remember, honour and grieve for the person who has died.
* We provide support for each other in our gathering together.
* We say good bye and then slowly begin the process of healing.
Funerals, therefore, are for the living.
But for the funeral to touch the hearts and minds of those attending it needs to be about
the person who has died - their life and how that person has impacted on the lives of others - you.
As well as, or in addition to a funeral, you may also choose to scatter or inter the ashes of the loved person. This simple, but very powerful act can greatly help grieving, plus give a permanent place to remember that person by. Just like the funeral, an ashes scattering ceremony can take whatever form you wish: with music, eulogies, readings, poems, or simply just a few words.
My role as celebrant is to help you prepare a ceremony fully reflective of the life of the person, your's and other's special memories and relationships with that person, and to leave you all with the feeling that you have been part of something that will comfort you in your sorrow and loss.
Through my work with a hospice biography service, I have considerable experience in interviewing terminally ill patients and compiling their life story, as well as working closely with the family of the patient. I am well used to dealing with people who are grieving while their loved one is still alive and after, and the very special lines of communication needed in these situations. I am also involved in the Seasons programme, as a companion for children experiencing loss and grief.
It is an honour and a privilege to be involved in people's lives at such a time - to capture the essence of one person's life so as to enable those who are left to mourn and remember well.
"We share together in their grieving,and recognise that death is indeed an integral part of what makes us alive."